When You Don’t Feel Thankful for Thanksgiving
Today marks Thanksgiving Day in the US. It’s a time for family to gather, celebrate traditions, and eat a lot of yummy food. It’s a time that most enjoy.
But what if you don’t?
What if you’re dreading difficult conversations? What if being around your family is less than peaceful? What if the holidays are the farthest thing from love, joy, and peace and instead bring anxiety, guilt, and that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach?
I’ve been doing a lot of healing work with mantras and affirmations lately. So when I woke up yesterday morning, I started reflecting on the holidays, thinking about those for whom the holidays are hard. Then I started thinking about the fruit of the spirit.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
I’m not sure why the two connected for me — God works in mysterious ways, right? — but my mind started writing. (No, that wasn’t a typo. My mind sometimes writes so strongly that I have no choice but to grab whatever I can to get it down.) So I reached for my phone, opened my Notes app, and wrote the following words, which I hope resonate with you this holiday season.
Fruit of the Spirit Affirmations
I show unconditional love to myself and others. I love myself and my body, and I treat it with care. I am love, and those that meet me feel this love as well. I love every part of me, even the things I perceive as flaws or imperfections, because in weakness there is strength, and love has no conditions.
I exude joy to everyone I meet, and I intentionally bring joy and happiness to myself first, that I may bring joy and happiness to others. Joyful thanks flows out of me for my experiences and the challenges I’ve worked through, for they have made me better appreciate the good things in life and who I am becoming.
I accept and create peace within and it overflows to others. This calm extends to those I choose to spend my time with, and our interactions are welcoming and peaceful because of it. This peace is not superficial but runs deep within myself and others, and my calm is healing to everyone, including myself.
I am patient with myself and others, understanding that not everyone’s reality is the same as mine. I accept that healing is a process, and I give myself grace and patience and allow myself and my body to heal in the time required. I trust the process and let go of the past and all bitterness and anger with loving kindness and empathy toward myself, acknowledging that I deserve healing and have all the time needed to pursue and actualize that healing.
I show kindness to myself by setting healthy boundaries and to others by speaking words that bring life and peace instead of bitterness and hate. I treat everyone with kindness and understanding, knowing that everyone’s experiences are different and therefore they think differently than I do. I give respect freely and without prejudice.
I display goodness in all I do, and passionately cultivate good things in my own life. I seek the good in all circumstances, and acknowledge what is good for me while respecting what is good for others with empathy and compassion. I affirm that life is good, no matter the circumstances, and that everything in my life, whether pain or joy, has worked and is working for my good so I can step into my truest destiny.
I am faithful to my truest self, and that faithfulness affords me the courage and bravery to set, keep, and state boundaries with kindness and clarity. I do not allow others’ negativity or judgment to interrupt my peace.
I am gentle with myself. I accept myself for who I am and who I was created to be. With gentleness and compassion toward myself and others, I embrace who I truly am and do not hide from it. With understanding and the gentleness I would give a child I dearly loved, I embrace my inner child and acknowledge their pain while nurturing my adult ego and becoming the person I was meant to become. I love being myself.
I exert self-control in my dealings with others and myself. Discipline is the key to stepping into my truest self and achieving the life I desire and am destined to live. I nourish my body with good things and treat my body, mind, and spirit with respect. I know what is best for me, and I give myself the gift of self-care, discipline, and honesty about which one I need in any given moment.
I forgive. I forgive those who ask for forgiveness. I forgive those who don’t ask for forgiveness. I forgive those who’ve hurt me accidentally. I forgive those who’ve hurt me intentionally.
I forgive myself.
My hope is that, when the holidays are hard, you’ll remember a small portion of these affirmations and steal away to an empty bathroom to say them out loud, to yourself, until you believe them.
Maybe, someday, you’ll be thankful for Thanksgiving. But it’s okay if you’re not quite there yet.